My Conspiracy of Happiness

free-ell: My mind has known for a long time now… at least a good year and half, maybe even more… that my heart needed to let go of you.  Recent events, have should me, how much I let out my heart for others, and that’s OK   That is who I am, when in jail for those 28 days, I found my self the last week in an area where I could give to others… what you give out, is what you get back.  I give my heart, I love completely  and love really forever…. and that’s OK   Cause I like my heart, I like that I can love that much, that I can empathize with others, I can feel their happiness, their love their pain… that is who I am.   I am not going to make excuses for being me anymore.  Maybe it takes my heart awhile to see you are not being up front with me. That you made up this whole story, and then you did it again. Maybe nothing about any of it from your point was real, except that you carried for me.  That I know was real, I know that I touched your heart… that’s what I do, I touch hearts… I give my self, I love completely… and that’s OK   I like being that person, so I say to all of you who do not understand, who call me names, put me down, trying to make me hurt even more.. I say, it doesn’t matter, I will still always be the person who loves…. who gives from deep inside my soul.   And as far as the people I have touched, I know they know this, and that is what makes them remember me, love me, they take a little bit from me, and I give it freely…. I am strong, way stronger than I ever give myself credit for.  It is time to remember that when I feel the hurts, cuz others can only give what they have to give.  I can not expect them to know how to give love the way I do, it is a unique quality not many have.  I treasurer it, and use it to love you!
May 19

free-ell:

My mind has known for a long time now… at least a good year and half, maybe even more… that my heart needed to let go of you.  Recent events, have should me, how much I let out my heart for others, and that’s OK   That is who I am, when in jail for those 28 days, I found my self the last week in an area where I could give to others… what you give out, is what you get back.  I give my heart, I love completely  and love really forever…. and that’s OK   Cause I like my heart, I like that I can love that much, that I can empathize with others, I can feel their happiness, their love their pain… that is who I am.  

I am not going to make excuses for being me anymore.  Maybe it takes my heart awhile to see you are not being up front with me. That you made up this whole story, and then you did it again. Maybe nothing about any of it from your point was real, except that you carried for me.  That I know was real, I know that I touched your heart… that’s what I do, I touch hearts… I give my self, I love completely… and that’s OK   I like being that person, so I say to all of you who do not understand, who call me names, put me down, trying to make me hurt even more.. I say, it doesn’t matter, I will still always be the person who loves…. who gives from deep inside my soul.  

And as far as the people I have touched, I know they know this, and that is what makes them remember me, love me, they take a little bit from me, and I give it freely…. I am strong, way stronger than I ever give myself credit for.  It is time to remember that when I feel the hurts, cuz others can only give what they have to give.  I can not expect them to know how to give love the way I do, it is a unique quality not many have.  I treasurer it, and use it to love you!

"Have you ever fell in love so bad and it ended? That it scarred you so bad that every potential relationship couldn’t work out. Then this other someone approaches you but you’re basically, honestly, simply scared about letting them into your life. But you’re not sure what you feel for them. You tell yourself “its not love bro, you felt that before and it ain’t”. However, your mind cant seem to stop thinking about her. IT SUCKS. BIG TIME. Especially, since i let her go."

- me

May 19
Mar 18

(Source: the-vertiginous-life)

Mar 18

(Source: g-eass, via liamsgirl-1d)

Mar 18
Some days I want to be just sitting here looking out into the infinite ocean not worrying about a thing.
Mar 18

Some days I want to be just sitting here looking out into the infinite ocean not worrying about a thing.

realeyeslyfe: Found this randomly on a website. Wish I knew who did this.
Mar 18

realeyeslyfe:

Found this randomly on a website. Wish I knew who did this.

hahsonaskew: #bookporn
Mar 18

hahsonaskew:

#bookporn

Stacy looking fine here.
Mar 16

Stacy looking fine here.

Mar 16

(Source: everybody-look-down)

Mar 16

subtilitas:

Buchner Bründler Architekten - Casa d’Estate, Linescio 2011. I like the tub spout going up, over, and around the existing beam in the bottom image. Via, photos (C) Ruedi Walti. Buchner Bründler recently published their first monograph with GTA.

Mar 16

subtilitas:

Devanthéry & Lamunière - Alpine Ensemble, conversion of a former stable, Val d’Hérens 2004. Photos (C) Fausto Pluchinotta.

Mar 16

engineerontech:

Water going through waves. One of the coolest videos ever!

crazy stuff

clever
Feb 29

clever

“Theres days, mostly sunny beautiful days, that i think about how we laughed as if we only understood our jokes but now those are utter memories written in the sand and gently fading with the tide”
Feb 29

“Theres days, mostly sunny beautiful days, that i think about how we laughed as if we only understood our jokes but now those are utter memories written in the sand and gently fading with the tide”